I got some feedback on my dramedy feature script, TABLE FOR TWO?, from the 2011 Fresh Voices Screenplay Competition this morning. I won't know whether I've made it into the quarter-finals with this script until January, but they scored me 138 out of 160, which if my maths is right equates to around 86%, which is not bad.
Here's some of what they had to say:
"Hello Warren. I had a lot of fun with this. Much like the occasional big Hollywood blockbuster, it’s always refreshing to see someone take pulp as far as it can go. This is a tangled web of deceit, backstabbing, illegality and plain old soap opera style the-child-isn’t-yours sensational plot twists. It should feel pointless, and in a way it is, but it’s written very well and the plot twists are so well paced and so surprising that it elevates the material. It might be soap-style melodrama, but it’s damn good soap-style melodrama."
The judge then makes a couple of observations which I think are very interesting and will prove useful when I come to rewrite the script (it's currently on Draft 4). One of the things that I'll need to analyse is the comment that:
"The structure of your story doesn’t quite fit standard conventions. But the structure does sort of work for your story. However, I can see a studio reader mistaking its unorthodox structure as a failure to obey the rules, and dismiss the script for that reason. I’m a little hesitant to suggest you change your structure to a more obvious 3-act structure, but I do think you should be aware that this could be a hurdle in future. But these are more nitpicks than criticisms. This is a well written screenplay that, although doesn’t aim to be a Casablanca or Citizen Kane, succeeds on every level that it attempts to. Great job!"
I'll have to take another look at the structure. This is the same script that got a RECOMMEND from Extreme Screenwriting coverage, and no comment was made about structure there. But as I've learned, there's no limit to better in this game so I will take another look at it. But this will be next year now as I have to start writing DeCodeMe (I must get a move on, I know).
In other news, TABLE FOR TWO? - yes, we're still talking about the same script - reached the Semi-finals of the Gimme Credit International Screenwriting Contest. Shame it didn't quite make the cut as a finalist but you can't win them all.
And speaking of winning scripts, LUCK'S RAN OUT (my 2010 Screenwriter Showcase first prize script), only made the Second Round of the MovieScript Golden Brads screenwriting contest. This is another script I'll have to revisit for a rewrite next year. I thought there might be more producer interest in this after it won the Showcase and I rejected an option agreement from a film company in Portugal, but not a sniff since. Surely there must be some producer out there who wants a good, gritty drama that tackles contemporary issues?
In my last post I talked about how I was meeting up with my old playwriting course colleagues to go see Sprout. Well, it was shit, and we all thought so. We also thought we could all do better. Let's hope we can and that at least one of us (preferably all of us) can get a play staged.
Right, my next writing task is to start writing the script for DeCodeMe. Wish me luck. There's a lot riding on this one.
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