Take Cover (Rage!)

So I went out and bought myself some more coverage for my feature script TABLE FOR TWO? To recap, this started out as a short story (which recently won 3rd Place in the Sentinel Literary Quarterly short story competition), then I turned it into a short script (which won the 2009 Vibe TV/Writers' International Premier Screen Talent), then a feature script. The earlier farce version of the feature is available on iScript, but I've since turned it into a dramedy and this version earned itself a 'RECOMMEND' from Extreme Screenwriting.

Now, call it intuition (maybe) or just a niggling doubt that the script isn't that good (actually that's bollocks, the story's a gem), or just a desire to get a second opinion, but I took out coverage with ScreenplayCoverage.com and boy, have I been cut down to size! Forget about the 'RECOMMEND' from Extreme, ScreenplayCoverage dealt some pretty heavy blows to my script and, I have to say, my confidence.

Bear in mind both coverage companies are based in the States and TABLE FOR TWO? is set in England (although there's no reason why it can't be transported to America, or here in Australia, or France or anywhere really). But anyway, I got two readers' reports and both of them 'PASSED' on the script. Which just goes to show...

...well, I've no idea, actually. That standards are so different from one coverage company to the next? That it really depends on whether the reader 'gets' your script? That this is art and no two people are going to view it the same way?

Anyway, where Extreme praised my "Great twist! I definitely wasn't expecting this turn of events. A morbid twist that elevates the story from ordinary headed straight to cable to a potential theatrical release", one of the readers from ScreenplayCoverage complained that the twist "comes off as ridiculous to the point that we feel like we’re reading a different story with slightly similar characters."

And there's more. How about this for size? "There is nothing here that’s satisfying, if we’re hoping that the lead protagonist is going to take us anywhere we haven’t been or show us something we haven’t seen. There’s no pay off at the conclusion of the third act for the audience."

Compare this to Extreme's view of the last-but-one page of the screenplay: "No way! Bravo. I shouldn't be, but I'm laughing my ass off. I love this scene."

But it's not just the discrepancy between the two different companies that's so confusing and, frankly, annoyingly frustrating, its the difference of opinion between two readers at the same company. Witness this comment about my characters: "They are all a complete mess of underdevelopment" compared to this: "Fiona is a fantastic character. Not only does she come off as extremely sexy and attractive, but also she’s a woman who, for the most part, knows what she wants and has no issues with going about and getting it. Sure, Fiona comes across as the classic 'man- eater', but your depiction of her runs deeper than that."

But let's not try to dwell on all the negatives too much. At least one of the readers at ScreenplayCoverage had some positive things to say:

"Overall, this is a sophisticated and nuanced piece of writing that, until its final third, effectively portrays the sexual underbelly of middle class office workers and those connected to them in a way that is both darkly humorous and telling. The writing is clearly aimed at adults – you avoid cheap, “easy” humor whenever possible. Nice work!"

and

"The script has an entertaining and often labyrinthine structure, especially when the tangle of relationships becomes complicated, as it does in the second half of your script. The story is structured in such a way that maximum comedic effect is attained by the juxtaposition of key scenes."

and

"Dialogue is perhaps your strongest element. You do a fine job crafting unique and appropriate voices for your characters and filling your dialogue with sly, dry humor."

So, what to do now? Well, I'll sit and stew on the comments for a while before attempting another rewrite. I can see where some of the negative comments are coming from, but where these have been interpreted as negative, the 'RECOMMEND' from Extreme suggests that other readers do 'get' where I was going with the script and what I wanted to achieve. Lots of food for thought, though, certainly, when it comes to doing another rewrite. Not that I can see this happening anytime soon though as I've got the DARK ANGELS feature to think about and the DeCodeMe script to write, once my producer comes back with notes on the treatment.

But tonight I've got my playwriting class, so I'll try and focus on that. Plus I want to translate 2 x 3 to a stage play too. So TABLE FOR TWO? will have to churn over in the subconscious for probably another couple of months before I decide on anything.

I'll tell you what, though. This screenwriting lark is pretty hard sometimes. And with that coverage it feels like I've just paid someone to beat me up!